Random Thoughts

My brother finally got married! We’re all a bit stressed and excited at the same time. I missed the wedding rehearsal so I wasn’t sure what to do or what to expect but I was glad I didn’t. The wedding march was beautiful. The stringed quartet played great and the weather was also perfect.

There were a few gatecrashers during the reception but I didn’t have enough strength to even look for them. I just stayed in time to hear my fathers speech. Why? Unfortunately, I felt very cold and dizzy in the middle of the reception I felt like I was going to vomit. I didn’t have enough strength to even lift the fork and eat! Grrr! I guess it’s alright since I was one of the 3 people (me, migi and my sister camsy) who picked and tasted the food a few months back but still! Anyway, two of my cousins, his wife, Jon and Kuya Totoy had to drive me home. My father quickly massaged my head before I was sent home.

…He talked about how we almost lost our brother
and how he bargained with God to save my brothers life. How he told God to save Jet and to take his life instead…

I missed the presentation by Joey Reyna but I’ll put it up probably next week. I already watched the video today and it looked great. He made our house look like a hotel. Haha!

Going back to my fathers speech…It was one of those few moments when I saw him and my brother cry. That’s when I gathered my strength to sit up and listen and it was worth it. He read the letter he wrote to my brother while we were all busy getting dressed. He talked about how we almost lost our brother and how he bargained with God to save my brothers life. How he told God to save Jet and to take his life instead. I remember that time and feeling as if it was yesterday. I was one of those who brought him to the hospital. I was the one who heard him that night. That was the first time I saw how calm my father was, despite of being extremely scared. The doctors said that he has a 50-50 chance of living and if he does, he’ll probably be a vegetable. He proved them wrong. When my brother got out of the hospital, we didn’t talk about it anymore so hearing him mention it in front of everyone made us all want to cry. Even the host’s voice were cracking up when he gave the microphone back to her.

That letter was special to me because I have his unfinished letter to my brother 7 years ago. I found it when he gave me a stationery and at the back of that stationery was this letter:

——————

11 Feb 2001

Dear Son Jet,

When I saw you suffering on your bed as I entered your room, I felt devastated, guilty and is about ready to die myself. When I see you like that, I always pray to God to let me suffer instead of you. When you are sick, I pray to God to make me sick instead of you. As you lay at the ICU, I pray to God to give you back to me. I was crying as I pray, because I couldn’t stand to see you in that condition. What’s the use of all the promotions I got when I am going to lose you? All the material things in life are just that — material. They are not worth anything. As long as all of us in the family are together, I don’t care if we have a house or not. Or a car or whatever. What’s important is for all of us to be together, si mama, ikaw, si micmic, letlet, dindin. I am happy when all of us are together. That is all that matters!

I long for the day when you will hug and kiss me like when you were still a child. I liked that. I hope you can do that again. I feel good when you do that because I feel that you love me. And that’s the most important thing for me to know that you will always love me as your father and also your mama and sisters of course. Cause we all love you. Including your friends, I can see that they all (love) you so much.

—————-

That was it. He didn’t have time to finish it I guess or probably he forgot about it. Anyway, after that I left the reception already so I don’t know what happened after that. I heard it was fun though and I missed a lot.

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